Four Types of People to Avoid (Are You One?)

Four Types of People to Avoid (Are You One?)

There are four types of people I do not tolerate in my life. It does not matter if they are co-workers, business partners, friends, strangers, clients or even family members.

  1. Those who lie. Even small white lies. One of the things I love about my wife is that she is brutally honest… even when it comes at my expense. Those who lie or lie by omission are IMMEDIATELY removed from my inner circle. It shows a bad sense of character and weakness to me.
  2. Those who gossip at someone else’s expense. Of course everyone is curious about others, it is human nature, but when talking about someone behind their back is negative it serves no purpose and it is just wasted breath.
  3. People who are negative and put others down really get under my skin. They only see the bad instead of the good and have a hard time being happy because their rules to achieve happiness are so hard to meet. Most of them seem to have a sense of learned helplessness.
  4. Hypocrites. This one grates on my nerves the most. Walk your talk or shut up. And you better not even think of trying to tell me what to do.

While I understand the psychology behind why they do what they do, I still don’t want to be around them or have them a part of my life.

For example:  talking bad about someone else to feel better about yourself happens because it is easier to try to tear someone down then go up to their level. I even understand that most of the time this is a subconscious trigger for them and they will deny it as the reason if you confront them with it. They will make excuses to justify their behavior.

Once I lose respect for someone it is very difficult for them to get it back.

If you find yourself being one of the four types above, really take a look at why you are acting that way. I bet it boils down to wanting to feel liked and accepted; or to feel a level of power when you really feel a sense of weakness or helplessness. Jealously is also a feeling of being less superior to someone else, so it definitely falls within these categories.

The best way to combat these negative triggers and environmental responses is to:

  1. Be aware of them
  2. Believe you can and must change them
  3. Break your pattern when you notice yourself engaging in them – do something wacky, wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it hard.
  4. Replace the behavior with a positive one

Lastly, start to build more confidence in yourself. I will outline some steps in a future article; however I wanted to mention it now. When you are happy and believe in yourself you do not feel the need to put others down. You have a subconscious paradigm shift and start trying to lift others up.

Everyone should try this for 10 days (if you mess up, it is okay, just start the whole ten days over again):

  1. Don’t tell a lie of any kind, even by omission.
  2. Don’t gossip about others in a way that puts them down.
  3. Don’t dwell on a situation in a negative way for more than 10 seconds
  4. Don’t say anything you can’t or won’t complete within the 10 day period

Doing this simple exercise will have a major impact on your life. My guess is that you will find:

  1. People can handle the truth and they actually respect you more for having the balls to tell them; and they feel more respected because you believed they could handle it.
  2. Your relationships will improve and people will enjoy talking to you more.
  3. You will greatly reduce your stress and will solve most of the negative situations very quickly since you are now spending your energy on the solution instead of dwelling on the pain it “could” cause you.
  4. You will feel more accomplished and boost your self-confidence because you are not setting yourself up for failure and you are walking your talk.
  • http://twitter.com/shdwphyre abbee Nightfury

    I also hate people who lie, & I even tell them straight to their faces whenever I know they’re lying! They can’t lie to me! Not for long, at least. Hehe. & thanks for the positivity boost! I so NEED that!

  • http://www.becominglegendary.com Hersh

    You are welcome :)

  • Nathan

    “Break your pattern when you notice yourself engaging in them – do something wacky, wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it hard.” – This is funny but, definitely a good thing to try! Lying is indeed a bad habit that starts with white lies. Got to avoid them regardless of how harmless they may be.

  • daphne

    In the end, the only obstacle between yourself and these kind of problems is yourself. Great article! Interesting advice too.

  • Pohl_mark

    You’re right on relationships improving after doing what you’ve posted. Honesty and trust help us in improving any relationship whether it is intimate or not.

  • Marissa

    Pinching yourself, biting your own tongue, “do something wacky” … great advise indeed! I’ll definitely give this a try!

  • Wilma Fanucci

    I like your point but, some individuals that are too honest can be tough to get along with. I guess it depends on how well you can personally take the truth.

  • Hans

    10-day Challenge Accepted! Really, it’s a good thing to try! Nice post.

  • http://www.becominglegendary.com Hersh

    Let us know how it goes!

  • http://www.becominglegendary.com Hersh

    I don’t mean that someone should be blunt and speak their mind all the time – those people who give their opinion all the time without being asked can also be very annoying; but they shouldn’t lie to someone else or try to hide things from them.

  • http://www.becominglegendary.com Hersh

    Marissa it has to be wacky in order for it to effectively break your pattern. The wackier the better!

  • TK

    Relationships do improve. I know mine did! Though I like your “wacky” idea, anyone can figure out a system that works but still, its great!

  • Luc

    Treat others how you want to be treated. Be honest to others, they should be honest with you. It is tough to “kill” hypocrisy but you can definitely help others to do so. Great post

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